


A Doll's House

by Pirouette_Moomoo



Series: Doll house serie [1]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-27 12:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pirouette_Moomoo/pseuds/Pirouette_Moomoo
Summary: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."I lived with that quote as my motto.I hate that bastard, and all I want is to destroy him, like he did to me.I'm gonna take everything from him, including his wife.





	1. The one who seek for revenge

« Also, don't forget about the photoshoot at 2pm sir, a car will fetch you 30 minutes ahead. »

 

Silence.

 

Does he know how rude is it ?

 

Hey, asshole, I'm trying to do my job here.

 

Is this newspaper more important that you daily schedule, stupid ?

 

« And, you have a meeting dinner with Mr Moon and your other sponsors tonight. I booked you usual table at the Ritz, dinner is at 8pm. »

 

« Thank you Ms Kim. »

 

Finally the asshole deigned to use his horrible voice.

 

We were in his office at the Moon Mansion, his father in law aka personal bank account. The whole house screamed big, old and boredom. It was the usual XIXe style kind of mansion in a unusual place like Seoul. Why did Mr Moon, or maybe his father what do I know, decided to build something as pompous, I had no idea, but well, I didn't care either way.

 

My jackass of a boss was sitting in that huge brown leather chair, behind that ridiculous and massive wooden desk, reviewing the daily newspaper, as always while smoking another cigar while I was standing and reciting his daily activity, like the assistant I was.

 

Asshole, do you know the smell get stuck in my hair ?

 

He finally looked at my direction, putting the newspaper rather violently on his desk.

 

« This shit is going to get me a bad buzz, did you read it ? I can't let that happen this close to my official candidature announcement. »

« Do you need me to write a statement against it ? »

« Let's create some letter, or official statement, whatever you call it, sign by her with the usual ''I marry him because I love him'' stuff okay ? »

« Understood. »

 

Disgusting.

 

That son of a bitch is disgusting.

 

I wasn't naive or anything, but how could this asshole wanted to be a politician when all he did was lying to people and manipulate them ?

 

« And sir, here is the report you asked yesterday. »

 

But then, the fate of those people wasn't my problem. I only had one goal.

 

« Thanks Ms Kim. You're working hard don't you ? Trying to prove you're worth your salary ? »

« Just trying to make you a congressman sir. »

 

Bullshit.

 

While I walked away from his office, I wiped the fingers that brushed his own when I handed him the report. His political career wasn't my problem either.

 

All I wanted was to destroy him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The lack of light and the bass a little to high to my liking were the thing that welcomed me that night, on the same damn bar.

 

I sat on the counter chair, reading the article jackass was mad about this morning. Distraction came in the form of a glass, seeing the olive on the border I knew it was full of martini.

 

« Long day, beautiful ? »

 

Ugh..that voice.

 

« Yes, so I don't need you to bother me. »

« Don't lie pretty, I know you enjoy my company. »

 

Even without looking at him, I knew he was smirking, he was enjoying this too much, as always.

 

« Stop trying Ok Taecyeon, how many times do I have to mention that you don't have enough boobs to interest me ? »

 

I looked at him, he was smiling like an idiot. But then, it was matching mine.

 

I've been a regular customer for the last 5 months, and the bartender might be the closest I had of a friend.

 

He was cocky and arrogant, so was I.

 

He liked to provoke people, so did I.

 

No wonder I kept talking to him. He tried to hit on me once, but I was a lesbian, so he knew it was a lost cause for him. However, he was like a kid and trying pick up lines on me became his favorite activity.

 

Without asking, Taecyeon took the newspaper and read it out loud, instead of doing his job.

 

« On this day, a year ago, Mun Jeong Hyeon, 42, better known as Eric Mun created the talk of the town by marrying the youngest daughter of the Moon family. While some detractors screamed about a fake wedding, about financial arrangement between the Moon dynasty and the business man, other claims he didn't had other choice, as pictures of the two of them taken on a date flooded the internet.

The unusual couple, who got twenty years of an age gap have been under the spolight for a long time, but Moon Byul Yi, Mun's spouse seems to be a discrete woman.

The rumor of Eric Mum being a candidate for the congressman spot of the district of Gangnam give another perspective to this wedding, and the rumor of a arranged wedding came back to life.. »

 

« Wow Ok Taecyeon, your intonation his great, you should become a story teller for kids. »

« I rather use that skill of mine to bring women at home. »

 

I laughed at him for some time, I should have excepted this answer.

 

« So..that your boss right ? The Mun dude. »

 

I sighed, as much as I didn't like to admit it, he was right.

 

« Yeah, I work for the asshole. »

« Bosses are all asshole, I bet mine's worth than your Yongsun- »

 

At this point I just stopped listening what Taecyeon was saying. Nobody could be worst that Eric Mun, because nobody could be more evil than satan himself I guess ? That man was everything I despite, everything living and non living flaws of this world decided to reunite, only to create him.

 

As I was thinking of him, and what he done, I could feel my anger rising quickly. I clenched my teeth at first, trying to calm me down, the last thing I wanted to hear about at the end of the day was about him.

 

I slammed my fist on the counter bar, making Taecyeon stop talking, and other customer looking at me weirdly.

 

« Whatever you have against you boss Taecyeon, is nothing like the grudge I have against this asshole, the only thing I want is for him to disappear, to suffer. And I intend on doing that. »

 

I was looking straight at Taecyeon eyes, showing him how determinate I was. Instead of freaking out, he just smirked back at me.

 

« Oh, so we hate him. But what about his wife ? »

« His wife ? »

« Yeah, Do we hate her too ? »

I smirked, hearing his question.

« No we don't Taec. You know, I intend to take everything from the asshole, and everything means his wife too. »

« Wow, here you're being presumptuous. »

« I am not, in fact, it's been done for a while. »

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

« Unnie..I, I think it is my pair of jeans. »

 

Loosing my focus on buttoning the said pair of jeans, I looked up, to find her, sitting on her bed, the sheet was barely covering her bare body. It was 7am but already bright outside. I grinned, obviously checking her out once again.

 

After my talk with Taecyeon last night, I had the urge to "greet" Moon Byul Yi, and I decided to stay overnight, being tired of making her scream my name for hours.

 

« What if is it your pair of jeans Barbie ? Do you really think somebody's gonna notice it while I walk the hallway until my room ? »

 

Here is the thing : That asshole of Mun wanted to be a congressman, and I was working my ass for him. Until the day I'd take my revenge. I worked for him so much that one day, the old Moon offered me one of the numerous spare rooms he got on his gloomy castle, to stay when work is being a bitch. Yeah, Mun not only got the money and the daughter, but he also got the castle, that son of a bitch.

 

Good thing for me, it's not to far away from the princess one. Yes, she's married but didn't share a room with her husband, They might even never done it before.

 

The newspaper from yesterday was right, this wedding was a fake one, love was not in the contract. It was more like Mun asshole marrying Moon daddy bank account, to have money for the election and Moon Daddy adding an « important » person in his family by offering him his youngest child. 

She was a trophy wife, nothing more.

I was in a world of disgusting people.

 

But since I enjoyed screwing the Moon's daughter, I was disgusting too.

 

« I..I don't know unnie but..sometime Esna unnie wanders on the hallway and- »

« Relax Barbie. »

 

Only wearing her pair of jeans and my blue navy bra, I walked near her, letting my hair down, without breaking our eyes contact. When my feet reached the bed, I straddled her, and took her beautiful face with my hand.

 

« You have to be ready for an appointment with Eric ssi later, I would just have to say to that maid of yours I woke you up to be ready. »

 

My hand still on her face, thumb stroking her jaw, I allowed myself some extra moment of weakness as I kissed her.

 

Don't blame me, I have a thing for hottie. And trust me, Moon Byul Yi is a hottie.

 

She eagerly responded to my kiss, as I felt her lips moved in an almost urging manner. I shivered when I felt her cold right hand on my bare waist, but I was more focus on kissing her.

 

My lips busy stroking her own, I use my thumb to slightly press her chin and she opened her mouth almost immediately.

 

Our kiss broken, I allowed a small smile to draw itself on my face, while looking at her flustered one before ravishing her lips once again, more roughly, guided by that lust I have everytime I look at her. She was moaning by the time I stroked her tongue with my own, softly enough to make her shiver, slowly enough to make her crave for more. Her arms were around my waist, she was hugging me tightly, trying to disguise what we were doing by what she really wanted.

 

I knew I won my little game when she whimpered, trying to lay back on the bed. So I broke our kiss, and I watch her with delightful eyes as she tried to regain her breathe, her face redder than ever.

 

« Seriously Barbie, we're making out and have sex for like 6 months now, but you're still blushing like a teenager ? »

« Unnie..stop calling me Barbie. »

 

I stroked her cheek in a almost tender way, like how she liked it. I forgot to mention, but that girl obviously have a crush on me, maybe something deeper, and it gave me control on her that I quickly enjoyed.

 

Both laying once again on her bed, I looked at her from above, standing with my left elbow. I used my forefinger to draw an imaginary line her from her pointy chin until the center of her collarbone, slowly enough to make her whimper, weak against my touch.

 

« But it's what you are my dear Moon Byul Yi, a pretty doll. »

 

I ravished her lips once more, without letting her time to answer, I wasn't in the mood to talk anyways. She turned her head sightly, allowing a new angle, deepening our kiss.

 

My free hand got ride of that pointless sheet, and I begun to draw circle with my forefinger,from her waist to her abdomen, knowing it would drove her crazy. At the same time I trailed kisses on her neck, taking part of it between my teeth

 

« U..Unnie pl..please..don't leave marks I..ah.. »

« Shh, don't speak Barbie, what if your maid enter ? »

 

By then the smirk on my lips set itself and wasn't ready to leave, as I whispered in her ear. I took some time to appreciate the moan my actions produced and chewed softly her earlobe before whispering against her ear, making sure she felt every words, every blew of air with every once of her body.

 

« But it's not on your neck that I will leave hickeys, you know that. »

 

My two hands were already working their ways to her thighs while my lips lingered on every parts of pale but delectable skin. My eyes were closed, but I knew the pathway by heart; moving along her right collarbone, the valley between her breast, some more kissing on her abdomen and a stop after one last kiss on her navel.

 

Her labored breathing was the only noise in the room, along with impromptu moans she couldn't keep for herself.

 

« I shall add some more hickeys here, it's not like your dear husband gonna find out anyways »

 

It was the last mocking I threw at her scared self before diving into her, not letting her time to adapt as my tongue already move inside the familiar core, taking its mark, sprinting in that race where I granted her yet another orgasm.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

« Moon Byul Yi, beautiful face, long blond hair and sexy as fuck. No wonder I call her barbie. She's like a doll, a poor and clueless one, who does everything she's told to, like marrying that disgusting old man 20 years older than her. »

 

I was on the same bar stool, looking absently at my martini glass while ranting once again to Taecyeon. Ah, since when my life have been that depressing ? Yes, when Mun asshole ruined it.

 

« Well, I guess she doesn't have a choice either. »

 

I chuckled at that bartender remark, of course she didn't have a choice. I ignored him, felling kinda talkative.

 

« She wasn't part of my plan at first. When I successfully got hired by the bastard, my goal was to work for him, gain his trust enough to be aware of his dirty trick, in order to use it against him and destroy his carrier, and his life.

But one day he introduced me to his wife, and I decided to add her in the plan. She was surprisingly more than willing to cheat on her husband, and I have to say she is the sweetest part of my revenge, and I just can't wait for the asshole to discover the truth. »

 

« So..what, you're going out with her or something ? »

 

« Absolutely not Taec. You got some high esteem of me dude, I won't waste my time on dating her, I only have one thing in mind. to- »

« Yeah, ruin the asshole life. Why not just killing him ? I mean, You're working for him for 6 months now, and the night you come here to complain, you're masochist or something like that ? »

 

I darkly chuckled at him.

 

« Death is a too easy punishment for him Taecyeon, he doesn't deserve to go like this, I want to see fear in his eyes, hear despair in his voice, I want him to feel what it's like to have nothing left, to loose everything, maybe after I'll kill him. »

 

« I'm really curious, what did he do to you ? »

« We might be friends, but this is a story I don't tell, sorry man. »

« What ? We're friends ? Thank for the news Yongsun. »

« You're welcome. And as a friend, I should inform you about that hot and tanned girl at the other side of the bar counter. »

« Huh ? »

« She's been looking at you all night, and obviously she already killed me in her mind, You better do something about it man. »

 

I left the bar soon after, the last thing I wanted to see was Taecyeon prehistoric ways to hit on a girl.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

« Ms Kim where are my damn notes ? »

« Beside you sir, but you need to stay still while the make up artist finish her work. »

 

So...it was the day chosen by asshole to formalise his candidature for the congress. He was about to be the guess in a live and nationwide political TV Show, and of course, I had to write his note.

 

« Damn, Why Kim Gura is here ? Since when he does political show ? I bet he's gonna ask unscripted questions. »

 

Seeing Jerk this stressed, I had to refrain a smile to grow on my lips, the whole situation was hilarious for me. But I had to choose the best fake and monotonous voice to answer him.

 

« Don't worry sir, since it's a field he's not used to, he won't try something who might be returned against him. And trust your judgment too. »

 

I secretly hoped though, that the MC would ask tricky questions to asshole, it might be delightful to watch him struggle in a live broadcast.

 

The set was rather small, as well as the audience, barely 20 souls were there to clap when being told to. I was standing backstage, along with the TV show crew. Asshole and Kim Gura faced each other, around a simple round table. Behind them were display different scenery off the busy streets of Seoul.

 

The show last for 40 minutes and the first 30 ones were plain boring, they were all about how the great Eric Mun would save the district of Gangnam, what a joke really.

I was about to give my faith of the bold Kim Gura up when he finally asked an unwanted and tricky question, however, I wish him to have chosen another subject.

 

« So, Mr Mun, I made my investigation on you, it seems like a lot of people like you and are favorable to your election, but how can you explain to us how did you become the great businessman you are ? »

 

I felt my stomach contorted because of this question.

 

« Well, I became the CEO of my company 15 years ago, I don't like to brag about it but we can say I save and raise it to the top. The former CEO, Kim Dong Wan, wasn't a bad man, but he didn't have the shoulder to hold his company anymore. We were friends you know ? And when your friend ask you, tears in his eyes to become the new CEO, to save your coworkers from a bankrupt, you can't refuse. »

 

Mother fucker, this was bullshit, how dare he was ?!

 

I felt my anger rose, but I knew I just couldn't go and punch him in the face, so I clenched my fists, until they became white and numb, and I watched him soil my father's memory , helpless.

 

« Dong Wan's death have been the most tragic drama I had to face in my life, for the few months we shared the burden of being CEO together, when we planned the rescue of our company, we became like brothers. You know Gura ssi, when I heard on the news my brother kill himself out of despair, a part of me died too. He was alcoholic and I didn't notice, I could have save him, it's still haunting me, everyday. This tragic accident is one of the reason I want to be part of the congress, I want to upgrade the lifestyle of our citizen, I want to protect them from his tragic faith. »

 

Bullshit, fucking liar, He was using my father's death to lick some asses and gets more votes ?! I thought he was low rat, but no, he was a monster, a hypocrite and a liar.

 

« Dong Wan was very discreet about his family. Unfortunately, I couldn't reach his wife and his daughter after his dramatic departure. If they are watching right now, I want them to know I'm still deeply touched by what happened, and I hope they found peace. »

 

The asshole was looking straight at the camera, with teary eyes, finishing is monologue full of shit.

 

« Miss Kim, are you okay ? »

 

One of the TV Show's staff asked me. I soon realised my state; my nails left marks on my palms, and a lone tear of frustration escaped my left eye. What I was afraid of became reality...Eric Mun, the bastard's king used my father's name for his plan. I excused myself from the staff and my other coworkers as I ran away from the TV station, I didn't have the strength enough to face the monster who destroy my life, I was still weak, afterall.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

« Hey, another one... »

 

« You sure Miss ? I mean, I think you- »

« You're not paid to think, but to fill my glass when it's empty, so give me another drink ! Understood ? »

« Y...Yeah »

 

Huh..a new bartender..After running away, I realised I had nowhere to go, so I decided to drink until I forget what I heard. It's what you do right ? Drinking when you're angry and sad.

 

And yes, I was angry and sad, against the asshole, against myself, against the world maybe ? I thought I could handle a low kick like this, but it look like being in the world of people with power and money made me delusional about my own strength.

 

« Oh, Taecyeon hyung hello, it's time for your shift already ? »

« Leave this customer for me okay ? »

« Yes hyung, be careful, this bitch is drunk as hell. »

 

I could hear everything that stupid bartender was saying, but my head was so heavy, I couldn't lift it from the bar counter.

 

« Yo Yongsun, rough day ? »

« Shut up Taec. »

« Oh by the way, the hottie name is Yubin, and yeah, she's tanned everywhere, if you know what I mean »

« Yeah, hooray for you, you got laid.. »

 

My voice barely came in a whisper, the dozen of martini didn't have the effect I expected. I was drunk, but still aware of what happened, and I felt even worst.

 

« How much did you drink little girl ? »

« Not enough.. »

« Do you want to tell me what happen ? »

« Rough day, like you said. »

« Yeah I saw your boss on TV, he's an actor or what ? With that story of him, he could have compete against Dicaprio for the oscar. »

« It was real..well some part. »

« Huh ? »

 

Sensing Taecyeon couldn't hear me properly, I made extra effort to look at him. Oddly enough, he didn't have his signature smile, a mix between a macho and stupid one.

 

« Asshole became CEO and soon after, the other one died. »

« Well, shit happens right ? »

« Yeah...shit happened...Taec..Kim Dong Wan was my father. »

 

Dammit martini, I wasn't suppose to say it.

 

The neutral smile of Taecyeon suddenly dropped.

 

« Yeah..and Asshole kill him. Not directly but..in the end, it was the same. »

« Yongsun..I.. »

« But he lied, my father never ask him to become the CEO...son of a bitch did a fucking coup d'état ! »

 

As I sinked more into the revelation, I felt my anger and frustration coming back to life.

 

« He form an alliance with shareholders to become the owner of 51% of the company, the fucking boss. And after he made my father worked like a fucking slave for him, threatening him to fire him, insulting him on a daily basis, treating him like shit. But my father never complained, at home he was the perfect father of the nine years old girl I was, useless and pathetic. »

 

« You were a kid Yongsun.. »

« Still, I should have done something when he start coming home drunk, or when I saw that gun the first time, or when He- »

 

Taecyeon put a stop to my storm of revelation, putting his big hand on my face, forbidding me to speak.

 

« Okay..okay, I get it Yongsun.. »

 

« No it's not..after that, Mom decided we needed to leave, she was afraid. But it was difficult to live, the 2 of us..Dad had debts, we got them when I tried but failed on winning his company back. And we had to pay them, Mom got two and then three jobs at the same time, I told her I would stop going to school and help her, but she slapped me that day, saying I would have a diploma, I would have future, that it was the last thing she was living for. »

 

I didn't realised I was crying at that point, nor that my phone placed on the counter bar disappeared. Taecyeon was beside me, a friendly arm wrapped around my shoulder as the wall I build over the years totally fell apart.

 

I was broken inside, but I acted like I didn't saw it.

 

« Mom died when I entered university, and I discovered the truth while cleaning my old house, when I saw letters and documents about asshole, about my father, about everything. »

 

I stopped talking, only tears remained, I didn't know for how long I cried, but Taecyeon shoulder was wet from my tear.

 

« Now...I understand why you hate him »

 

I chuckled at his word, where did I found a friend like him ?

 

« I need to destroy him Taec, I can't stand him, what he did today- »

 

« ...Unnie ? »

 

I jolted up hearing that voice, what Barbie was doing here ?! And her maid was here too.

 

« Unnie, are you okay ? Well, no you don't look okay »

« What are you doing here Moon Byul yi ? »

« Hey, don't be so aggressive Yongsun, I called her okay. »

 

I took back what I said, Taecyeon is not a good friend.

 

« You did what ?! »

« You're too drunk to go home, so I used your phone and send her a message. »

« Ms Kim, let's all go back to the manor, Ms Moon shouldn't be outside at this hour. »

« Like hell I'll go where that asshole of a husband you got is at ! »

« Unnie...Eric ssi isn't home tonight, please just...come with us, you shouldn't stay alone while being drunk. »

« Oh please, shut up will you ! »

« Yongsun- »

« It's okay Mr Ok, she's drunk, that all. »

 

How did they managed to bring me back to my room in the castle of the evil, I don't remember anymore. Why Byulyi was still beside me, I didn't understand either.

 

« Leave me alone. »

« I won't unnie, I- »

« Get out !! »

 

I didn't wanted to scream, but something about her kindness toward me scared me.

 

« Unnie please, don't be like this I lo- »

« Don't even fucking say it Barbie ! »

 

I was sitting on my bed, ruffling my head with my two hands, trying to recollect myself, she didn't deserve to be yell at, but I couldn't help myself.

 

« Please...just leave me alone. »

 

As she left my room, I pretended not seeing the tears on her face, and I persuaded myself mine were because of my shitty day. But dammit, why did she have to be nothing but kind to me ?!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I successfully avoided Moon Byul Yi during the whole week after that night. I made the point of my feeling and well, maybe I like her more than just as a pretty doll, which was why I shouldn't be around her.

 

I didn't have time to deal with feelings, I was resolute to avenge myself during the election, all I need was to find the good opportunity.

 

But my plan on avoiding the doll failed miserably when she was the first thing I saw as I stepped into asshole office on that morning.

 

« Hello Ms Kim. »

« Sir, Ms Moon. »

 

I greeted them in the most flat tone I could, trying to hide my surprise. Byulyi for once wasn't dress like a pretty doll, but more like the style she really enjoy, she even have her glass on.

 

« Should I leave the both of you alone sir ? »

« It's okay Ms Kim, I was just lecturing that wife of mine how to fucking behave when her husband name in Mun ! »

 

Wow, hey asshole, calm down.

 

« You see Ms Kim, Byulyi just made me really embarrassed, and she have to thank me I have some friend in the press, or those pictures would have been on all the newspapers already. ! »

 

I briefly look at the picture, She was hugging another girl, so what ?

 

« Sir...I..I don't understand ? »

 

« Byulyi..why can't you be like Ms Kim ? She does what I ask, when I ask and she behave ! Your father warned you in the past didn't he ?! Do you want us to fail ?! »

 

« Eric ssi...I..it's not that..we're friends.. »

 

I was still near the door, while son of a bitch was standing behind his big and ugly desk, his hands supporting him. Byulyi was on the other side, legs glued together, hands interlaced, she was looking at the carpet, the most terrified expression on her face.

 

What is it really about ? Asshole, look at what you're doing.

 

I heard him exhaled loudly, apparently he didn't like when his doll reply to him. I'm proud, Barbie.

 

« Ms Kim, would you excuse us for a while ? »

 

No.

 

« Sir ? »

 

What are you planning asshole ?

 

« Wait outside, now. »

 

Her head was slightly turned toward me, just enough for me to see her pleading eyes, but I failed her as I went outside.

 

I heard him yelled, I heard him barked at her. She wasn't yelling, but she replied another time, and then nothing, until I heard...a slapping sound ?

 

Mother fucker, did you really ?

 

I briefly knock on the door and opened it, Asshole was in front of her, and she had her left hand on her cheek. Everything was silent except her faint sob.

 

Asshole, you're trying to make me hate you more ? Well, achievement unlocked.

 

« Sir..sorry to barged in but, what if somebody else was here, please, think about you image. »

 

Well done Yongsun, turning it for himself, he only knows this kind of vocabulary afterall.

 

« Yeah..you're right Ms Kim, please, escort Byulyi to her room, I'll leave this to her father. »

 

The way until Byulyi's room was silent, as I was thinking what I should do or say, without using the feeling I have. I made her sit on her bed and went to take a wet and cold washcloth.

 

« Let me see ? »

 

My voice sound too soft, but I couldn't help it, seeing her in the state of shock she was in.

 

« Put this on your cheek okay. »

 

This was beginning to feel too intimate, for her sake, for the sake of my revenge I had to stop it, so after giving her the washcloth, I turned toward the door, but she stopped me.

 

« So you're leaving just like this ? »

« Barbie.. »

« MY NAME IS BYULYI ! »

 

I turned around, she was crying again, but this time it was out of anger.

 

« Unnie, you saw what it did, I don't want this to happen again ! »

« Did he.. » 

« No, it was the first, and the last time. »

« And what are you going to do then ? »

« I'm going to leave that house ! I never fitted here anyways ! I don't want a life like this, I don't want to be like my mother or all her stupid friends ! »

 

Well, I didn't expected that, coming from her.

 

« Then leave if you want, I rather said you should leave Bar..Byulyi. »

« Leave with me unnie, I'm not blind you know ? I know you don't like Eric ssi, I know you're up to something but please unnie, let's just forget everything about that damn house, we can go away, I know friends in Jeonju we can build anew there. »

« I can't Byulyi. »

 

With the revelation of this side of Moon Byul Yi, it was difficult to keep a steady and monotonous speech, but I knew I shouldn't gave her false hope,

 

« I can't go knowing you're still in this hell unnie...I..I love you too much for this ! Whatever is the grudge you have against him, it's going to destroy you, let's leave before it does unnie I...I can't live without you. »

 

Why did you have to say it out loud Byulyi ? I knew about your feeling, but it was easier to ignore it if they stay unspoken. I cared about you and breaking your heart was the most difficult thing I did so far.

 

« I'm sorry Byulyi, but I can't go. »

 

No, I couldn't. I had feeling for you, but my grudge against your husband was what dictated my life, what kept me alive, it had to be done.

 

I looked at her one last time, trying to let her know everything I had in mind.

 

« Please, leave while you can. »

 

It was the last thing I said to her before closing her bedroom door.


	2. The one who crave for freedom

_Hyejin ssi,_

_You can't imagine how surprised I was this morning when Esna unnie told me somebody sent me a letter. To answer your concern, I don't find this awkward or creepy, on the contrary, this days it's all about technology and social media, it's good to come back to the basis._

_Ah, I'm speaking non sense, it's good to meet you Hyejin ssi, but I'll be honest, I didn't expect something like your letter to come and shake my boring life. I am touched that you decided to use some of your time to try to reach and know me, despite that odd link between us. It's not everyday that somebody's girlfriend tried to know her lover's ex right ?_

_I'm happy to know she is fine, the last time I saw her was horrible, mostly for her, and I don't know if I'll be able to pardon myself for what happened to her._

_Whee in was-_

 

My wrist stopped itself after writing her name.

 

Whee In.

 

Jung Whee In.

 

_My first love._

 

I felt so guilty about our shared past that I forbid myself from thinking about her, she didn't deserve what happened, but reading Ahn Hye Jin's letter, I felt kind of relieve. Sitting legs crossed on my bed, I look around my bedroom, brightly lightened by the sun, white and somehow standard. Nobody was with me, like always.

But unlike always, I had something to do, so after re doing my ponytail for the 3rd time, an old habit of mine, I resumed my writing.

 

_Whee in was someone special to me, she still is. She must have told you right ? We met when she was a 1 st year student in the art school we were. She wanted to become I painter, and I was studying literature, hoping to become an author one day. She was my first friend, my first kiss, my first love, and I became her first heartbreak._

_Ah, isn't it weird for me to write about this to her girlfriend ?_

_Because of who I am, who they wanted me to be, her dream was scattered. When my father found out our relationship, he used his power to expel her from our school, he threatened her family, that's why she returned to Jeonju. As for me, he decided it was better to be home-schooled, only the basis, because he thought it was ridiculous for me to study for something I'll never be. And I let him did, because I couldn't do something else._

_So you can't imagine how happy I was when you told me about her 1 st joint exhibition as a rookie painter, nor when you shyly wrote about her being the woman you love. Don't worry about potential hard feeling I could have about her moving on. On the contrary, I'm happy to know she did, and you seems like the right person for her, so I can't be more happier for the both of you Hyejin ssi._

_I bet you already knows it, but I'm married, for a year now, to the businessman Eric Mun. Another choice of my father. We're two siblings and he got a path for us, my older brother Hee Jun will take over the family company one day, and I was scarified to extend the family influence._

_After what happened with Whee In, father knows that I'm gay, but it didn't stop him to arrange my future like he wanted._

 

I took another pause to read my floppy handwriting. Was it even reasonable to spill my life to a stranger ? I didn't have proof that girl was what she claim to be, she could be a journalist trying to get a scoop, or anything else.

 

No..

 

As weird as it was, I felt comfortable from the moment I read the first word written by Hyejin ssi.

 

  _I might sound crazy to tell you about this Hyejin ssi, But I do trust you, even if it's only the beginning of our epistolary relationship. I trust you for Whee In, and hopefully, for you to become my friend. My life seems pretty empty right ? Rather pathetic if you want my opinion, but it kinda change for the past few month, only because of one person... I'm in love Hyejin ssi._

 

Gosh, Why was I smiling while writing it ? I was in a awful situation, but I smiled like a fool while admitting my wrong doing.

 

_I'm in love, but not with Eric ssi, who could I ? Not only he's a man, but way too old for me, and the first time I speak to him was before the wedding ceremony._

_No, In the hell I'm living since forever, I found a light, For me she's bright and wonderful, truly intelligent and beautiful. I'm in love with a girl named Kim Yong Sun, but the relationship Her and I got has more chance of breaking me than freeing me._

_Ah, and now I'm ranting about my life. I think it's time to end this letter. Please, greet Whee In for me, and tell how sorry I am about what happened, tell her I'm happy for her._

 

_With the hope of reading another letter from you,_

 

_Best regard_

 

_Moon Byul Yi_

 

 

I took a deep breathe, my hands weakly holding the sheet of paper while my eyes ran along every words, making sure they were all correct. What I was doing ? Would Hyejin ssi even reply to me ? I literally pour my heart to what looked like a message in a bottle, who would even want to be associate with me anyways ?

But on another side, As I walked through the manor to give my letter to Esna unnie, my only ally in this golden cage I was locked in, I was hoping this message would be the beginning of something new, that could save me.

 

I ran across Eric ssi and Yongsun unnie in the manor hall entrance, they were going to my husband activities for the day. As always, He barely noticed and greeted me. As always, she put her professional mask first, greeting me formally, before throwing a seductive wink at me once nobody was watching.

 

My husband latest assistant,

 

Kim Yong Sun.

 

Out of all the assistants he got, she got the record of longevity. Usually, they gave up fast, but she stayed, even if it looked like she didn't like the work.

 

I won't never forget the first time my path met hers, because it change my life forever. Since that day, I'm stuck in this cheating and one side love affair with her.

 

It was 6 months ago, when Eric ssi introduced me to her, during a society party my father love to launch, to display his fortune to the world. I hate those parties, but I was forced to attend it, clad with the latest fashionable dress, like they said. This time a white and pale blue one, way too short to my liking. But father and Eric ssi wanted me to « Emphasize » my femininity, telling that having a dreamy spouse by his side would help him gathering younger male citizen votes.

 

I was aware my husband hire another assistant, after the latest left, making a scene.

 

_« Byulyi, this is Ms Kim, she's working for me for a week already. »_

 

_When our hands met, to what I wanted to be the most neutral handshake, I felt spark of electricity. More than that, an entire firework._

 

_« I'm Kim Yong Sun, nice to meet you, really. »_

 

_She was looking at me, but her eyes were so piercing, I felt like she was looking at my soul. Our hands were still connected, and I forgot everything; how to breathe, how to blink, how to speak._

_It was Eric ssi embarrassed cough that brought me back on earth._

 

_« ..Nice to meet you Yongsun ssi. »_

 

_How did I managed to speak ? I still I don't have no idea._

 

_During the whole evening, I was being at my place, being Eric Mun's wife, meaning I had to greet people and shut up. But I could feel the burning gaze of the beauty in red dress, and see her smirked at me whenever I tried to steal subtle glance at her direction. I was being hunt, I knew it, and somehow liked it._

 

_I runaway in the restroom I soon as my husband didn't need me anymore, I order to calm my nerve. I knew it was her who entered soon after me, I sensed she would follow me._

 

_« Oh sorry, I didn't know somebody was inside. »_

 

_Yes you did._

 

_« It's nothing Yongsun ssi, I...just freshen up. »_

_« It must be tiring to be the wife and the daughter of such influential men. »_

 

_She leaned against the nearest wall, her arms crossed while looking at me, what was she doing ? I was sure she didn't care about this._

 

_« It's not that it's tiring, but I must be careful to not do something that would put them in difficult situation. »_

 

_Father would be proud, I learned his lesson. She stayed silent for her while, scrutinizing me with her mischievous yet beautiful brown eyes. However, her smirk perturbed me. I stared back, trying to understand her motive, finding people true identity through their body movement became a skill of mine, essential in the world I lived in. However, I couldn't decipher her, it both scared me and draw me closer to her._

 

_« I'm going to be honest with you Byulyi ssi, I'm not used to this kind of party, and I find them quite boring. »_

 

_I wasn't expecting that, but I was glad to finally find someone who understand me. I made sure she knew it with a spontaneous smile. It only made hers bigger. I wasn't paying attention to the mischief in her eyes anymore, it was out of my comprehension at that time._

_Because of her single sentence, I wanted was to forget every warning I had to learn, being the daughter and the wife of « powerful » men, every story they told me about people trying to use me to get to them. A single sentence made me decide that whatever came from Kim Yong Sun was worth the risk._

 

_« Should we go and do something funny instead ? »_

 

_She asked me. I realized by then how close we were, I could smell here delicate perfume and as I inhale deeply, trying to make myself submerged by it, I closed my eyes, feeling transcended by her presence._

_My sense were on red alert ever since our hands touched, and even if a voice inside me urged me to runaway, My heart and brain wanted otherwise, they wanted me, no urged me to get to know her more._

_I reopened my eyes and she was still there, dangerous and bright._

 

_« Follow me Yongsun ssi. »_

 

_We ended in my room sofa, after successfully sneaking in the kitchen to steal a bottle of red wine and two glasses. I drank with precaution, I shouldn't get intoxicated if I wanted to remember what might happen._

_We were talking about everything, about non sense, TV shows or even childhood memories. We joked and grew closer, really close, I could feel her breathe on my shoulder. Her left elbow was on the top of the sofa, her right hand was holding mine, thumb softly stroking the back._

_I wasn't close to be drunk, but I felt dizzy, almost flying. I was aware of my action, but didn't find it wrong or good, I just knew something was happening, and I wanted more._

 

_I felt alive._

 

_The pointless discussion stopped, only whispers remained and our faces grew closer, but not only to hear each other better._

 

_« I never thought I would met someone like you in a party like this Byulyi. »_

_« ..Neither I do, unnie. »_

 

_The stare of the girl who I learnt was older than me was so intense, I couldn't face it. My eyes fell on our joint hands._

_And soon, I noticed how my breathing was erratic, how my heart was wild, how I couldn't contain my smile._

 

_« You're kinda cute, I like that. »_

 

_My cheeks heat up when she said that, I risked a glance in her direction, but I felt her nose against my own when I lift my head back. And just like that, our lips met. I can't remember if I kissed her or if she kissed me, but I won't never forget the feeling of her lips for the very first kiss we had._

 

_They were soft and bold, perfectly shaped to dance with mine._

 

_The grip I had on her left hand tightened, and I felt her left one sliding on my hair, as our kiss grew in intensity. I kissed Whee In in the past, and I had to kiss Eric ssi once in a while, but kissing Yong Sun unnie was definitively something else, I felt like I never kissed someone before, that all I thought about that one subject was wrong. The firework returned, but this time a whole fanfare accompanied it._

 

_Time seemed to have stop, I could barely hear the music coming from the party on the first floor, but the rhythm of my heart was enough of a musical background for the intense kiss we were having. I felt her bite and suck on my bottom lips,shifting her head to kiss me better. She was indeed a very good kisser, as for me, I tried to not make a fool of me, but I was overflowed with feeling._

 

_We broke apart when I all the air in my lung disappeared, she looked so calm and composed, while I was a breathless mess, with visible red cheeks._

 

_« I..Unnie I.. »_

 

_She went to my lips again, assaulting it with multiple peck, while I was trying to make a full sentence._

_« ...Unnie...I..we..should locked the door..I.. »_

 

_She stopped, looking slightly irritated, lust visible in her eyes._

 

_« I give you 30 seconds, lock that door or runaway, but be prepare for the consequence afterward, Moon Byul Yi. »_

 

_Her piercing eyes follow my every action, from the moment I stood up from the couch to the moment I locked my bedroom door, making sure she heard the locket sound._

 

_I knew what she wanted, and her needs matched mine._

 

_My hands where on the door handle as I tried to calm myself, but Kim Yong Sun initiated another round of pounding heart and nervous sweats. She stood behind me, left arm circled around my waist, lips kissing and nibbling my left shoulder blade while her right hand stroke my right tight._

 

_« Good, this is the answer I was expecting. »_

 

_I could only moan as her action were already too much for me,as I turned around her lips collided into mine, into a messy and open kiss. We clumsily made it to my bed, leaving clothes along the way. While our first kiss felt like going for hours, the rest was going fast, maybe too fast._

 

_I was sitting on the bed, mouth hanging opened,in a daze seeing her goddess like body in front of me, she was kneeling on the same bed, straddled me, only in her underwear. I tried to refrain myself from looking at any other place but her face, however, the smirk she harbored made me understand she caught me staring at her chest._

 

_« Unnie..you're beautiful, I'm- »_

 

_She stopped me by kissing me once again, lips guided by lust. I didn't notice when my back touched the cold sheet of my bed, nor how and when she got rid of my bra. My eyes were closed, trying to feel everything and memorize every bites, every kisses, every strokes and lick she did to me that night. I was melting under her touch, enabled to act or to minored her actions._

_Word weren't enough to make her understand how I felt when she was inside me, I could only whimper and moan to translate my emotion. And I was so weak yet overwhelmed when I came, heart beating like never before._

 

_I woke up alone the next morning, just as I predicted. I also predicted the morning after our 2 nd time, and all the other time. From the moment I shake her hand, I knew how a relationship would turn between the two of us, but surprisingly I didn't mind, as long as I was by her side. She was another person using me, but it was different with her. Because the spark of electricity, all the butterfly I have when I'm with or under her lead to one thing._

 

_I was in love with her._

 

 

 

 

 

_Hyejin ssi,_

 

_I was so relieved to read your 2 nd letter !_

_It might sound silly to you, but I was slightly worried when I ask Esna unnie to send the letter, receiving yours was a big relief, blame my father way of doubting everybody for this._

_And yes, go ahead and let Whee In read the letter, in fact I kind of expected you did, I don't mind, on the contrary, that just prove me how close you are with her...Already living together ? Omo, I didn't understand how serious it was between the two of you, Why do I feel like cheering for you ?_

_You want to now more about Yongsun unnie ?_

_Ah, having me writing about her can be long you know ? Kim Yong Sun is a bundle of mystery and mischief, wrapped in the most beautiful package-_

 

 

«  Hey Barbie, I'm sooo bored right now. »

 

I lift my nose from the letter, only to see Yongsun unnie, sitting on the bed, beside me, her back on the head board. She had her laptop on her tight, and she was wearing a short jeans, along with a white shirt she obviously buttoned in a way her cleavage was shown to the world, well, for me at least. It was dark outside, and my bedroom was only bright because of the 2 lamps settled on the bed table on each side of my bed. But as usual, she was glowing

 

Once again, she was teasing me, knowing how well I could react to her body.

 

« That's why you should go back to your room unnie. »

« I don't want to return, you know why I'm here. »

« And I already told you we couldn't unnie. »

« Ugh, fuck you, mother nature. »

 

 

Focusing on my letter once again, I slightly chuckled at her bad mood, happily thinking I won this round for a change.

 

_Yongsun unnie is actually my husband main assistant, apparently a good one since he didn't try to fire her, and she's working for him for 6 months now. And, we have a thing going on for those 6 months._

_I won't labeled us as a couple yet, we just...well you know what happens when a person find the other attractive right ?_

_However, I find her more than attractive, Yongsun unnie became everything for me the first time I laid my eyes on her. She's breathtaking and I believe I fall in love for her at first sight. Everytime I'm near her, I can't help but having butterfly on my stomach and a silly smile on my face. I found Everything she does magnificent, she's..mesmerizing._

_She's a mystery because it's difficult to read her expression, to guess what she's thinking. I had time to observe her for the last 6 months, by now I should now everything about her, yet I'm as clueless as the first time I woke up alone after our first time._

_Unknown to her, she can be extremely cute sometime, like right now, she's focused on working on her laptop, and the pout she does is the most adorable thing I ever saw. Most of the time when she's working, she has a poker face, but it only emphasize her flawless face, and I found myself being relaxed when I look at her._

_Unfortunately, I know my feeling won't be returned, I never ask her, but I know it, she doesn't see me like this. I did try at first, to let my feeling out, to build something with her, as risky and bad it could be, but she stopped me everytime. She doesn't want that type of relationship, our bond is only that carnal connection._

_So, you might wondered why I do keep on seeing her, why do I keep on doing this mistake and let her using me._

 

_Well..-_

 

 

« What are you even doing seriously ? »

« I'm writing a letter unnie, what about you ? »

 

This time, I didn't move my eyes from my sheet of paper since I was immersed on it, but I could tell she grew closer to me.

 

« Your husband need some note for next week TV show...wait a letter ? You're serious Barbie ? Who wrote letters now ? Never heard of emails ? Phone's messages ? »

 

« You don't get the point unnie, a letter is way more personal, I feel like I'm more connected with the other person like this, more than plain emails devoid of any emotions. And it can't be copy or found or anything. »

« So you're writing a love letter ? Do I know her ? »

« I am not unnie. »

« Oh right, you just cheat on your husband with me, which is precisely why I am here. And, I got it, you're having you're period, BUT, let's make out for while ? »

 

She took away the sheet of paper and the support I use to write, putting it next to her laptop. Almost simultaneously she straddle me, pupil dilated, bold smirk on, daring hands circling my neck. I froze because of her sultry look, it wasn't the first time she _attacked_ me like this, nevertheless I couldn't defend myself. She took off my round glasses, and put them in the table beside me before leaning her face to mine, connecting our lips.

 

Her kisses follow the same pattern I grew to love, she would always begin by endless pecks, turning her head, adjusting the angle. The pecks would last longer, until her lips stayed on mine for a long time, when she, between other tricks, alternate between sucking and nibbling on my bottom lips.

Yongsun unnie was a very good kisser, and I knew I could go for her kiss for hours.But for the sake of my letter, I had to stop her. Obviously she wasn't happy when I put my hand on her stomach and slowly pushed her away.

 

« Unnie..sorry but I really need to finish it tonight. »

« Hmph, finish your love letter, I don't care anyways. »

 

She took her laptop and walked away from my room rather quickly, obviously pissed off. I coughed and scratched my head, trying to regain control of myself, Unnie could be a real kid sometimes, especially if thing didn't turn to what she wanted, call me an idiot, but it was another part of personality I loved about her.

I took my letter which ended hanging between the end of the bed and the air. Finding my concentration back, I let my pen slided on it.

 

_To be honest Hyejin ssi, I keep myself in this situation for 2 reasons. The first one is obvious, I'm in love with her, and I rather have this unhealthy relation with her than nothing. I'm lucky enough to have the girl who haunted my days and nights having an interest for me, I would be insane to not engulfed myself into this unfaithful affair._

_The second reason might sound odd to you, but in my 22 years of living, I never did something on my own, it was always dictated by my father, and then by my husband._

_Living in this rich and powerful family might sound dreamy, I saw several comments on the internet about that, people wishing to be in my shoes. Well, I'll exchange whenever they want. My life never been mine._

_As a child, I had to pretend to be the perfect little girl, father would be mad if my school note were bad, or if I didn't follow his order on which dresses wearing for public events I was force to attend._

_As a teenager, he agreed on letting me take literature class, because he thought he could generate good critics, to have a daughter interested in art. But when he found out about my relationship with Whee In, he punished me by throwing away all my favorite books, making me study at home and forbidding me to see all my other friends._

_I was 20 when he first told me about my wedding with Eric ssi, his words were « you're getting married next year, be happy we're about to launch a wedding ceremony the world will remember for decades »._

_The way I dress, the food I eat, the place I go...everything is monitored or forced onto me by my father, and now by Eric ssi, who need the perfect and obedient wife for his election._

_The Affair I have with Yongsun unnie is something I decided, knowing fully I have more chances to be heartbroken than anything, but, for the first time in my life I'm doing something I want and I choose to do, and it feel great. When I'm in her arms, it's almost like I'm free, and knowing this is my decision makes it even better._

_If the situation was different, I'm sure I would be able to build something with her, I know it's not possible, not only because of my statut, but also because she's held by something. She never told me , never show any signs, but I know there is a reason behind her behavior._

_Ah, look at me ranting about my life, I actually never ask you about yours even if I'm interested on knowing it, how did you meet Whee In ? What are you doing for a living ? As creepy as it sound, I'm literally asking you to tell me everything about you life haha, but those letter are a way for me to escape my reality, another choice I made on my own, that I am proud of._

_Until later,_

_Moon Byul Yi._

 

 

« And lastly sirs, those are dresses I personally brought back from my latest trip to Paris, I thought Miss Moon would look good on them. »

 

« Good job designer Choi, I think those will be great for the upcoming schedule we will have, starting today, after my TV appearance I'll need Byulyi in different event and location, so she has to be fashionable. And, as you now designer Choi, my wife choice of clothes is...well, does not fit a congressman's wife lifestyle. »

 

I hated these weekly meetings, yet they happened since Eric ssi unofficially run for the congressman election. Father, Eric ssi, Ms Choi and I stood in the middle of the dressing room they accommodated for the outfits I had to wear for official events. On that day, they also agreed I had to wear them on a daily basis, whenever I go outside the mansion.

 

Colorful dresses, floral skirts or even chic tunics, those were the definition of what should be my wardrobe according to father and Eric ssi. However, I would rather wear jeans over skirts, shirt over luxurious tunic. My ideal kind of clothes weren't those girly one, but comfortable and normal clothes. Did I ever told them ? Yes. Did they listen ? Of course no, my opinion was the least of the burden.

So here I was, in the middle of the room, clad with one of designer Choi latest purchase, quiet and motionless while father and Eric ssi were scrutinizing me, voicing their opinion out loud, speaking like I wasn't even here.

 

« Don't you think that dress is a little provocative though ? She's a married woman afterall. And the printed pattern too, I might be old fashioned, but I don't like them »

« The cut is just after her knees Mr Moon, don't worry about that, as for the pattern, isn't this the last trend Ms Choi ? Byulyi need to be dress with those, medias gonna speak about her fashion sense, and in the end, it's going to be a good advertising for me. »

« What about her hair ? She should dye them back in black don't you think Eric ssi ? »

 

« She need to keep it that way sir. I'll be honest with you, I had an employee creating several online discussion about Byulyi in general, he's acting like a fan a feeding these discussion, there are a lot of people commenting on it, and the conclusion of this test of mine is that a lot of people like Byulyi's hair this way. However...Byulyi..You need to stop having your hair in this ugly ponytail, especially when you're out. »

 

« ..Y..yes, sorry Eric ssi.. »

« And stop calling me like that, I'm your husband, what if you're saying it in front of journalists ? I don't know, call me oppa or just Eric, but the ssi is banned, understand ? »

 

« Yes...o..Oppa. »

 

« Also...Byulyi..those glasses... I already told you, so many times, to get ride of those ugly thing ? »

« I..I don't wear them outside if it's- »

« You have contacts, why don't you use them instead ? Is it that difficult for you ? »

 

I can't wear those contact for long, because they always end up burning my eyes, but you didn't know this, right, Eric ssi ?

 

« Sorry, I'll...I'll wear them more often. »

 

 

They went on for a few more minutes, suggesting changes in my fashion sense, insulting the way I was, making plan on how I should be. As I clenched my teeth, Yongsun unnie's words resonated in my head.

 

_But it's what you are my dear Moon Byul Yi, a pretty doll._

 

I felt humiliated, I wanted to scream at them, to shout how I only want to be me, the Moon Byul Yi who like old jeans and books, who would trade their 5 stars hotel for some chicken from a fast food.

 

But I was powerless, just another tool in the hands of those heartless and powerful man.

 

 

_Hi Hyejin ah~_

_See, I drop the honorific, just as you asked !_

_I was so happy reading your last letter and I swear to god, the two of you are just too cute. From childhood friends to lover ? How sweet ! And you telling me you're a singer just makes me more curious, Hyejin ah, unnie wants to hear your voice hehe~_

_Omo...you're coming to Seoul and want to see me next week ? I'll be more than happy to finally meet you Hyejin ah, and glad to see Whee In as well but...as you might now, Eric ssi officially declare his candidature earlier today, and it might be difficult for me to go out of the mansion without him or my father to know. Don't take it personally, but I don't think they would allow me to see you..but-_

 

The vibration of my phone interrupted me, I turned my head to the beside table I placed it on, only to see a message from Yong Sun unnie.

 

That's new, she never sent messages.

 

And it was 1 am, she got a busy day, the other staff members even told me she went out earlier from the studio this evening.

 

I got a uneasy feeling when I slided my phone open, ready to read the message.

 

« Hey, I'm Ok Taec Yeon, Yongsun's friend.

Listen, I know who you are and I kinda need your help.

Yongsun is drunk ATM, well, wasted is the right word.

I don't think she can even walk straight

Can you just...come and fetch her ? She might needs you as well.

I'll give you the location of my pub : »

 

I quickly read the address,but thinking about the rest of the message made my stomach contorted

 

Unnie is drunk..

 

..And she needs me.

 

Millions of thought rushed at the same time, what if she go while I'm not here, what if she pass out on the street, what if she get into an accident ?!

 

I jumped out from my bed and after tightened my ponytail, I took my coat and discretely went to Esna unnie's bedroom. I needed her to drive me there, because I couldn't go by myself. I felt slightly guilty to wake her up, but it was an emergency situation. However, she open her bedroom door rather quickly.

 

« Ms Moon, what is it ? »

« Unnie...we need to go, but we have to be discreet, I don't want father or Eric ssi to learn about it. »

 

I was whispering the whole time, even if it wasn't necessary. Esna unnie didn't ask anything, but lead me to her car. It was another time I was glad to have her by my side, she was someone really reliable, my only ally there, only friend.

 

We arrived in Ok Taec Yeon's bar quick enough, and I didn't took too much time to spot Yongsun unnie. She was on the counter bar, her face hidden in the shoulder of that tall man, which I assume was Taecyeon ssi. As I slowly walked near them, I could hear sobbing sound, she was crying.

 

It broke my heart to see her in this state.

 

« I need to destroy him Taec, I can't stand him, what he did today- »

 

Was she talking about Eric ssi ?

 

I feel like I intruded something, but at that time, I was too worry to care.

 

« ...Unnie ? »

 

She moved her head from Taecyeon ssi shoulder.

 

« Unnie, are you okay ? Well, no you don't look okay »

  
  


Finally, she looked at my direction. Her face was red and her eyes glitter, both from her tears and the alcohol.

  
  


« What are you doing here Moon Byul yi ? »

Her tone was harsh, I flinched a little hearing but, didn't say anything.

  
  


« Hey, don't be so aggressive Yongsun, I call her okay. »

 

« You did what ?! »

« You're too drunk to go home, so I used your phone and send her a message. »

  
  


Before the two friends could bicker more, Esna unnie interrupted them.

  
  


« Ms Kim, let's all go back to the manor, Ms Moon shouldn't be outside at this hour. »

« Like hell I'll go where that asshole of a husband you got is at ! »

  
  


Asshole ? Did something happened today ? I always believe she wasn't a fan of him, but usually she would use honorific to speak about him.

« Unnie...Eric ssi isn't home tonight, please just...come with us, you shouldn't stay alone while being drunk. »

« Oh please, shut up will you ! »

« Yongsun- »

« It's okay Mr Ok, she's drunk, that all. »

 

With the help of Taecyeon ssi, we managed to put her in the back seat of Esna unnie's car, while all she did was protest and hit the poor man who helped her to move.

I was about to enter the car when Ok Taec Yeon stopped me.

 

« Thank you for your message Mr Ok, it could have been dangerous for her to go home alone. »

« Hey little girl, drop the Mr, Mr Ok is my father. »

 

I got a small smile at his remark, no wonder why he was friend with unnie.

 

« Do you know what happen to her, oppa ? »

« Well...she spilled her gut on me, not literally, but that's not a story for me to tell princess, you have to ask her. But seriously...I don't know you Byulyi, but if you can help her...do it, she needs someone to lean on, and you might be the most suitable here. »

 

I keep on thinking about Taecyeon oppa's word on our way back. Unnie was silent, obviously mad and I didn't bother her, scared to start another wave of screams and complains. I always feel like she was hiding something, and this night just gave me a confirmation. I was sure about new thing too.

 

If I couldn't decipher her, even after 6 months, it was because she's more than use to hide her true self.

And something must have happened between her and Eric ssi.

 

I tried to help her to walk until her room when we arrived at the mansion, but she rejected me, pushed me away and managed to walk until her room. I followed her, after thanking Esna Unnie for her help, and I found her laying on her bed, her back facing me.

 

 

« Leave me alone. »

She must have sensed I was in the room, her harsh tone was still here, but I understood it was only a defense mechanism.

 

« I won't unnie, I- »

« Get out !! »

 

Nevertheless, I flinched when she started screaming, all I wanted was to help her, why couldn't she see that ?

 

« Unnie please, don't be like this I lo- »

« Don't even fucking say it Barbie ! »

 

She rejected my help, once again..I knew I wasn't somebody really important in her life but, it still hurt, I wasn't even worth the help for her ?

Unconsciously I begun to cry, feeling mad and powerless, I couldn't even help the love of my life.

 

She changed her position and was sitting, her two hands holding her head.

 

« Please...just leave me alone. »

 

I did as asked, faster than I imagined it, because I didn't want her to see me cry more. Inside my bedroom, I took some time to calm myself, before taking my letter back.

 

_Hyejin ah, something happened tonight..I..Yongsun unnie was drunk, I think something happened to her, but she doesn't want my help...I..yes, we need to meet, I really need to talk to you and Whee In, I'll be there on time, don't worry I'll find a way._

_See you soon,_

_Moon Byul Yi._

 

 

« Thank you unnie. »

« Ms Moon, I'm going to fetch you in 2 hours okay ? Meanwhile, I'll buy clothes for you, in case we're asked about it later. »

« Aigo, Esna unnie, what would I do without you ? »

« Go now, you don't have a lot of time, and remember to be discreet please. »

 

I had to lie to father and Eric ssi in order to meet Whee In and Hyejin, and Esna unnie was the one suggesting the shopping excuse, with her coming along. I couldn't tell Eric ssi, he knew I was gay, and surely wouldn't be please to know that I was going to see my ex lover that day. I even dress with casual dark skinny jeans and a dark sweater, my hair in a ponytail, trying to look like any other citizen.

 

I entered the café and saw her, Jung Whee In, almost immediately. Even after all those years she didn't change. She was busy speaking with a flaming orange hair girl, I couldn't see her face, since she had her back on me, but I knew it was the girl I write to, for the last few weeks, Ahn Hye Jin. They sat in a table hidden in a corner of the café and I was already thanking them in my mind, for choosing this area.

 

I couldn't suppress my grin when I approached them, I was just happy to see Whee In, and meet her girlfriend. The dimple girl noticed me as I stood a few table away from them, and she close the gap, rushing to me for a tight hug. I look nervously around us, fortunately, nobody was paying attention.

Whee In said nothing, but her hug speak for her.

 

« Hello Wheeny »

« Unnie ! I missed you ! »

 

I patted her head for her to look at me, she got teary eyes and my grin grew larger. She was as cute as I remember, but this time, only fondness guided my action, I was glad she stayed as my friend.

The orange hair girl stood up as well, and I could already tell her hair weren't the only flaming thing about her, she was stunning, and everything in her scream fierceness.

 

« Hyejin ah ? »

« That me unnie, nice to finally meet you »

 

Whee In broke our hug, allowing me to greet Hyejin. We soon sit around the table, Whee In trading her place, sitting next to Hyejin so I was the one facing them.

We ordered some drink and they explained me they came to Seoul because Whee In had an appointment regarding some of her painting. I also learn that Hyejin was a singer in a jazz club in Jeonju.

I feel like we talked for hours, about almost every subject possible, I always thought it would be awkward to meet Whee In after what happened, even more with her girlfriend coming along. But fate liked to play trick on me, it was everything but awkward, on the contrary, I was at ease and happy, we were joking and engaged ourselves in crazy discussions. I could witness their stolen glances at each other from time to time, and found them adorable, but deep inside, I was kind of envious, taken my last encounter with Yongsun unnie.

 

« Ah, really Byulyi unnie, it's good to see you but, I'll be honest with you..I ask Hyejin to meet you today because...well.. »

« Unnie»

 

Sensing her uneasiness, Hyejin finished Whee In sentence.

 

« We wanted to meet you because we're worried about you. »

« Huh ? Worried ? But why, I'm fine girls. »

« Unnie..all the letters you send to Hyejin, you might not intented to do it, but we felt like you were asking for help. » 

« What ? »

« Let me go straight to the point : Byulyi unnie, you need to get out of this mess, and soon. »

 

« Hyejin is right unnie, you shouldn't let them dictated your life, you need to escape from that life of yours, from what I've seen and experienced, it will only get worst, I'm sure you know it too. »

 

« Girls..thank you for your concern really, but..you shouldn't worry I'm..I'm used to it. »

 

« That exactly the problem, your life was taken from you since forever and you can't even realised that what they all do is wrong, they shouldn’t use you like they do, that Yongsun girl included. »

 

« Hey, no, Yongsun unnie is different you know, she might be even more broken that I might be. »

 

« Unnie, you might be too in love with her to realize she's using you too, she might be using your feeling against you, this is not healthy, you said it yourself. »

 

« I know I did, and you know why I keep on seeing her right ? But something change since our last letter Hyejin ah, I saw her weakness, and I need to protect her, I still don't know how, but she's broken inside, I can't stand it. Girls, thank you for your concern but - »

« Unnie ! Before rejecting our help, please, know that we're here for you, you can come to Jeonju with us unnie, you could have your own life there, finally be free. »

 

What did I do to deserve friends like them ? I understood now, they came all the way to Seoul, trying to save me. I was deeply touched by the gesture, I wasn't alone, after all.

 

« Thank you,really Girls, I don't what to say..I'll keep your kindness in mind but, I need to stay for Yongsun unnie..I..I can't let her be alone in this Manson. »

 

« Well..we can't force you to follow us unnie..just know you'll always be welcome in Jeonju, okay ? »

 

I got a huge smile looking at the couple in front of me, they had worrisome lingered in their eyes but answered my smile. Those two were so cute, I couldn't help ruffled the top of their head.

 

Esna unnie arrived soon after and we bid our good bye on the street, near her car. I hug them both, sad and already missing them.

 

« Unnie, you won't forget right ? »

« I won't Wheeny, thank you, for everything I- »

« Don't say anything unnie, what happened in the past wasn't your fault, don't blame yourself anymore, okay ? »

 

Hearing Whee In's word, I got the urge to hug her one more time, this time being the one tightening it. I look at Hwasa with culprit eyes, but I didn't saw any jealousy or animosity in her. But I couldn't help but nagged her

« Hyejin, I think you should close you eyes for a second. »

« Why ? »

 

I didn't reply, but went to kiss Whee In's forehead, briefly but with all the affection I got for her. I might not be in love with her anymore, but I still had strong feeling for her, she was someone I wanted to protect too.

 

« Have a safe trip, my cute Wheeny~ »

« Yah unnie ! I can't believe you're still cheesy, it wasn't just puberty after all ! »

 

I entered the car as fast as I could, not letting the time for Whee In to yell at me more. I made the right decision meeting them that day, because for the first time in while, I was smiling.

 

 

« You asked for me Eric ss..Oppa ? »

 

« Close the door Byulyi. »

 

His voice was cold. That wasn't new, but something seemed off since he asked a maid to bring me to his office. I did what he asked , and slowly advanced toward his massive wooden desk. He was looking at the windows, his back facing me.

 

« I want to inform you, I fired Esna. »

« W..What ? But..why ? »

 

He turned around, a serious and terrific expression on his face, he throw an envelope on his desk, which slided in my direction.

 

« I hate liar, and she lied to me, so I fired her, that's simple. »

 

the bundle in my stomach only grow when he motioned toward the envelope, silently telling me to open it.

 

There were picture inside, of me, Whee In and Hyejin, from yesterday. They were taken when I was leaving, when I hugged the two girls to say good bye, when I...kiss Whee In forehead.

 

« I can't fired you, so I choose to fired her, it's obviously your fault if that poor women got no job now. »

 

I was speechless, how come he got those pictures ? Why did he had to punish Esna unnie ?

 

« I'm not stupid Byulyi, one of those girls is your ex girlfriend, you lied to me to see your ex girlfriend. In a fucking public space..Paparazzi are everywhere, don't you know that ?! »

 

I stayed quiet, I knew my words wouldn't have much impact on him anyway, he asked for me because he wanted to yell, so I just hang my head low and try to not listen to his rant, suddenly regretting to not have left with Whee in and Hyejin.

 

« What if somebody recognize you on that damn street ?! I can't have rumors about my wife being a fucking lesbian while running for the congress !! You need to know your place, how to fucking act as my wife !! »

 

A knock on the door interrupted him, and the last person I expected to see entered the office.

 

Yongsun unnie.

 

It was the first time I saw her since the night I brought her home, she seemed...normal. But I knew she had to put her poker face.

 

 

« Hello Ms Kim. »

« Sir, Ms Moon. »

 

I greeted her with a small nod, why she had to come now, in all of the occasion. The situation itself was humiliating, but having her as a witness was beyond everything.

 

  
« Should I leave the both of you alone sir ? »

« It's okay Ms Kim, I was just lecturing that wife of mine how to fucking behave when her husband name is Mun ! »

 

She took a brief glance on the pictures displayed on the desk, before looking back at Eric ssi. For a moment, I swear have seen irritation on her eyes.

 

« Sir...I..I don't understand ? »

 

« Byulyi..why can't you be like Ms Kim ? She does what I ask, when I ask and she behave ! Your father warned you in the past didn't he ?! Do you want us to fail ?! »

 

I couldn't let him insulting me in front of Yongsun unnie, so I replied, with the clearest voice I could have at the moment.

  
  


« Eric ssi...I..it's not that..we're friends.. »

  
  


The room was silent for a few moment, before Eric ssi let a exaggerated sigh out.

  
  


« Ms Kim, would you excuse us for a while ? »

 

« Sir ? »

 

« Wait outside, now. »

He looked totally mad at this point, and I regret voicing the truth.

  
  


Ever since we became a married couple, I knew he was arrogant, selfish, grumpy and manipulative. But I was used to this kind of behavior, since my father was the same, so I knew I had nothing to fear.

But when I looked at him on this day, I became afraid of him, for the first time I was afraid of what he could do, judging the madness on his eyes.

  
  


I discretely turned my head toward Yongsun unnie, pleading her to stay, the last thing I wanted was to be alongewith him on the office. But she obeyed him, and waited outside. As soon as she closed the door, he unleashed his anger on me.

« Who do you think you are huh ?! You dare to reply to me ?! To lie to me again ?! She was your girlfriend before, I don't see any reason for you to see her, you fucking cheat on me in the middle of that street, and you have the guts to tell me she's your friend ?! Stop you bullshit Byulyi ! »

  
  


He was now in front of me, and my feet were glued to the ground, my mind repeated again and again that I should have left with Whee In and Hyejin, that I should escape this nightmare.

  
  


« Listen up you brat, from now you're going to stay on this fucking mansion, if you need to go out you'll go with somebody I choose, and I'll be the one deciding if your reason of leaving is acceptable or not. I won't let you ruin the biggest achievement I'm about to make understand ?! »

  
  


« But...I swear, it's not what it look like- »

  
  


Pain.

  
  


That what I felt even before finishing my sentence.

  
  


Stinging pain.

  
  


My head turned to the right side, and my left cheek burnt all of sudden.

  
  


Then I realized..he slapped me.

  
  


He slapped me.

  
  


He did that, he slapped me.

  
  


I was like a broken record, repeating it endlessly.

  
  


He slapped me.

  
  


Because I tried to explain myself.

  
  


I always knew he was a bad man, but I didn't imagine he would become a monster.

  
  


Yet he slapped me.

  
  


  
« Sir..sorry to barged in but, what if somebody else was here, please, think about you image. »

 

It was Yongsun unnie's voice, she must have entered the room after hearing the slapping sound. I was still numb about what happened, too shock to react.

  
  


« Yeah..you're right Ms Kim, please, escort Byulyi to her room, I'll leave this to her father. »

  
  


She...she kind of saved me right ? I saw him going back to his window, and I felt Yongsun unnie taking my hand briefly, telling me silently to follow her.

  
  


So I did.

  
  


But the way to my room was silent, my cheek still hurt, so did my dignity. That man slapped me, because I met friends. He didn't care to even listen what I wanted to say to defend myself, heck, why did I had to defend myself in the first place ?!

I was use being the foil, the pretty doll, the trophy wife, I gave up, a long time ago, on finding a solution to this, because I knew I couldn't fight against powerful people like my father.

  
  


But father never slapped me.

  
  


My _husband_ did.

  
  


Is this what my life would be about from now ?

  
  


Walking in the path he order me to walk ?

  
  


Being punish, or even slap if I try to be me ?

  
  


I didn't wanted a life like this, a life with the constant fear of being arm by somebody I'm forced being with, even though I never like him.

  
  


« Let me see ? »

Unnie's voice woke me up from the state of shock I was in, and I saw her face, her flawless face just in front of me.

 

I felt something cold on my armed cheek, then I understood.

 

She was treating my wound.

 

Technically speaking, she just used a cold washcloth on my cheek, but it was the first time she showed care for me, I think I even saw worrisome in her eyes, for a brief moment at least.

 

« Put this on your cheek okay. »

 

She gave me the washcloth, and I realised I was sitting on my bed. I didn't even recall walking until here.

 

I mechanically put the cold tissue back on my check, since It kinda lessen the pain.

 

I saw her walking away, I had to stop her, before she break my heart even more.

 

« So you're leaving just like this ? »

« Barbie.. »

« My name is Byulyi ! »

 

I had enough, why she kept on calling me like this, I'm a human, I have feelings, did they forgot about it ? Why was she walking away like that, after what happened ?!

 

« Unnie, you saw what it did, I don't want this to happen again ! »

« Did he.. » 

« No, it was the first, and the last time. »

« And what are you going to do then ? »

« I'm going to leave that house ! I never fitted here anyways ! I don't want a life like this, I don't want to be like my mother or all her stupid friends ! »

 

Mother never had to deal with a violent husband, the two of them barely speak anyways, dad only had to show his credit cards for her to walk the way he wanted.

I always felt like an alien in this house, in this kind of lifestyle, why I had to be hit to finally realised I had enough of it ?! Why are you so slow, Moon Byul Yi ?

 

« Then leave if you want, I rather said you should leave Bar..Byulyi. »

  
  


At that moment, I had the impression she was taking me for serious, finally listening what I had to say. So, I had to try, to make her leave with me.

  
  


« Leave with me unnie, I'm not blind you know ? I know you don't like Eric ssi, I know you're up to something but please unnie, let's just forget everything about that damn house, we can go away, I know friends in Jeonju we can build anew there. »

« I can't Byulyi. »

 

But why ? Open up to me unnie, I beg you, you're the only thing that hold me back in this mess.

 

« I can't go knowing you're still in this hell unnie...I..I love you too much for this ! Whatever is the grudge you have against him, it's going to destroy you, let's leave before it does unnie I...I can't live without you. »

 

I said it.

I finally said it out loud.

I love you unnie, why can't you love me back ?

I know we can be happy together, away, in Jeonju, Whee In and Hwasa are waiting for me, and I'm sure they'll be glad to meet you.

  
  


« I'm sorry Byulyi, but I can't go. »

 

She looked at me one last time, I never saw her that sad, her poker face was long gone. What are you hiding, Kim Yong Sun ? Why don't you trust me enough ? I was on your side, I could have help if you asked me, why are you leaving me ?

 

I stood up, trying to catch her, but she was already on the door.

 

« Please, leave while you can. »

 

 

It was the last sentence I heard from her.

 

She left me, in that room.

 

The pain coming from my cheek lessened.

 

But my heart hurt, so much.

 

I give it to her, but she refused it.

 

The worst was, I couldn't be mad at her, like I was mad at my _husband_

 

Enough.

 

I just had enough of everything.

 

I needed to go, immediately.

 

I took my phone, and dialed Hyejin's number, which I saved yesterday.

 

« Hyejin ah, you're still in Seoul right ? When are you living ? »

 

In a situation like this, I imagined myself crying like a baby, but my eyes were dry, my mind empty, my heart dead.

 

I just needed to leave.

 

So I left.


End file.
